on rock stars and red flags

Recently I read Kylie Scott’s Stage dive series (Lick, Play, Lead, Deep), published from 2013 to 2015. This feels both like decades and not that long ago. Can you tell these were meant to bridge a sort of erotica/romance combo in the somewhat early aughts? These titles, man lol. At least you knew exactly what you were going to get. This type of contemporary is always going to hit the following: commitment issues involving deep trauma (toxic mom or toxic ex or lucky you! both!), substance abuse, “groupies”, it might be too big to fit…etc. A fascinating detail that the Fated Mates podcast touches on is that all four books are single POV from the heroine’s perspective but the band mates are what holds the series together. It is such a deft handling because Scott is right: I don’t particularly want these loser’s POV but she needs to still sell me on their love from the heroine’s (who constantly is dealing with their shit) perspective. We need to believe in their growth without living in their heads. We are also presented with a stark difference from many modern contemporaries, the men are giving manic pixie dream girl¹ and the heroines are giving Stern Brunch Daddy². This is a bit of an oversimplification but it felt monumental to me to be so shut out of the band’s perspectives, leaving the reader (and the love interests) with firmly placed boundaries on their psyche.

I often joke that I like to read red flag hero romances of the early aughts (and 90s and 80s…) because it resets my brain, but what I am really getting at is character development. I love to see a fucked up little guy get beat down by love and left with no choice but to make changes. It is a fantasy for many of us (not just that men will seek help and change but that change can happen beautifully and imperfectly in a tight 300 pages journey). It is a balm to the toxic masculinity literally everywhere. This is not to say that toxic masculinity is not ever present in Scott’s series. Each of her heroes, though distinctly different, believes their music is the most important thing, and their part in it specifically, they rarely believe in monogamy for thee and not for meeee (there’s so many women! But only one man for you, baby), and they are fiercely jealous of any of the heroine’s male friends. Time and again, I thought “no way am I going to believe in these dudes by the end of the book.” Yet for three out of the four, I did. 

Lick’s hero lets his toxic ex kiss him, refuses to explain, and then has a tantrum. This obviously necessitates both a long explanation and a grovel. Play’s third act breakup centers on an ill-advised drunken public proposal. Mind you, they have been dating for less than three months and he is mostly driven by his mother’s terminal illness. Anne understands this and firmly says no, thank you! A happy ending for these two must come at the expense of his pride and his handling of his grief. Anne is not budging those hard drawn boundaries for anyone but she is capable of forgiveness and of grace. Lead seems to be the most beloved and contentious of the series. Jimmy has to not only stay sober (not for the heroine but for himself) but also to admit he wants to be loved. That he is capable of love. His reactionary swings in behavior will only drive everyone away. In my opinion he could have groveled more, but the magic is that Lena meets him where he is. She is unconditional in her support and willing to show that in every single thing she does. She will hold him to her requirements of an equal partner but god, what a force of compassion she is. My friend Nicole Capo recently wrote in her newsletter, “I set my own boundaries, and I change them when they no longer serve me.” GOD. So strong, so romance heroine coded. This why Lena and Jimmy’s reconciliation at the end is so powerful. Lena drew her boundaries and she can adjust and toggle them as she sees fit. Love for Jimmy can be unconditional and it is okay for her to teach him that, step by step. Deep did not win me over. You want to be an involved dad? Grow up! I have no patience for Ben and he likely needed much more page time for redemption. Here’s the quick download on these:

Lick - Woke up married to a rock star, big yikes! I don’t remember anything and he’s kinda upset about it. They try to work it out. He’s emotionally stunted and still working with his cheating ex? And his definitely off-the-deep-end brother? There is more grovel time than I was expecting. Works for me but still ⅗

Play - Fake relationship for REASONS! Reasons including a mom with terminal cancer so take care of yourself! However, Mal is hysterical. The manic pixie dream man. Kylie does excellent banter here between the two of them. A very sensual tongue in cheek goofball vibe to their romance that I absolutely fell for. Mal does silly (again, emotionally stunted) and ridiculous shit but he is grieving massively. Anne understands but still holds him to her boundaries. This felt very Nevada Baylor of her and I have no higher praise. 5/5 for me. 

Lead - Aforementioned brother who went off the deep end. Jimmy is now sober but isolated. Lena is hired both as his sober living companion and his assistant (ethical quandaries abound). Again, Kylie nails absolutely hilarious banter and a push and pull. Lena tries to quit. They both try to date other people. They try to bang it out just to get it out of their systems. Everything fails. Jimmy acts like a shitbag. Lena is not a doormat but god, does she meet and love him where he is. 5/5. I understand the hype.

Deep - Ben can get fucked. Our last band member who is only really mentioned as the brother of the cheating ex in book 1. An enigma that I wish had remained an enigma. He gets Anne’s (book 2) sister pregnant in Vegas and has to figure it all out. Now first off, I do believe that Ben would suck in this situation and then Kylie made him suck in exactly that way. I don’t love accidental pregnancy plots but I have seen them done well (Natalie Portman and that Walmart baby). Basically, I didn’t think Ben had it in him in the end. I wanted Lizzy to find a better daddy. 2/5 

At their core, books like these are about what most romance is about: vulnerability!! A particularly clever addition Scott makes to Lead’s story is that Jimmy (sober now but with a pretty destructive past) is terrible at kissing. He doesn’t like it? Or he hasn’t had much sober intimacy? The reasonings are as muddled as his ability to be honest about himself but Lena takes that in hand. What ends up happening is a very hot and lovely exchange where Lena essentially teaches him to kiss and opens up new avenues of intimacy he would previously have blown right past. It gives us a chance to have something new happen to an experienced rake³. Stage Dive’s love stories are all resolved by each hero being willing to be vulnerable with their love interest and realizing that they are accountable to someone. That they want desperately to be accountable to someone.

A fascinating dichotomy was reading TJ Alexander’s a Gentleman’s Gentleman where a young British aristocrat, Christopher, must marry soon in order to keep his estate. This character is trans and must manage that secret from almost everyone in his life. Enter a valet! No one can be a true aristocrat in search of a wife in London without one! Unfortunately, this valet is starchy and hot (stern brunch daddy alert!) and very interested in Christopher. These characters show each other themselves by degrees. Yearning, lovely, emotional degrees. By the time we have reached the climax of the book, we see that our valet is a trans man too. As with many great love stories, we get a bit Gift of the Magi here. Both are willing to assume petticoats and corsets again to be together yet both are unwilling to allow the other to do it. TJ Alexander writes of their clash here, 

‘“Am I not myself whatever I am wearing?” Harding (our valet) said with raw steel in his voice. “Is my manhood such a fragile thing that it cannot survive a brush with a petticoat?” His eyes softened, if not in tone. “Would you really think so little of me if I did this?”’

I was struck here by how many love stories this applies to. By how much this notion transcends both time and gender. Of course, Harding and Christopher should find a way to be together that does not bring them pain or asks them to hide their true selves. Of course Christopher is angry at this notion. But in many ways, Harding is right. Love is in the sacrifices we are willing to make for each other but love is also in refusing to allow that sacrifice. Identity is so much more than one’s appearance, but appearance reinforces it. 

In the end, the two give up England, give up estates, and decide to travel together as husbands (secret but not). We harken back to a line from Harding when they realize their similarities: “There are all sorts, my lord,” Harding said. “The world is wide and full of grace, I promise you.” I think that these books, and all the best ones, are all telling us this. I think the best media of all is telling us this. Like many people, I binged The Pitt and you can see these truths even there, devoid of a romance plot. Robby, Whitaker, Mohan. They’re all so attractive, so endearing in their desire to see the grace and be vulnerable in the face of it. 

“Will you walk it with me?” is the notion TJ Alexander ends on. 

talk soon,

Britt

1  ^{Coined by film critic Nathan Rabin about Kirsten Dunst in Elizabethtown. Manic pixie dream girl is a flighty, young quirky woman used as a lover interest to bring growth and a “live your life” perspective to the hero with little of her own development. Distilled, it is usually applied to quirky female characters.}

2  ^{Coined by author Andie J. Christopher about Oscar Isaac. Essentially, dominating and firmly kind in public, freak in the sheets. Strict but not abusive or violent.} 

3  ^{A shortened version of “rakehell”, it is typically used in historical romance to designate a character who gambles, drinks, and has indiscriminate sexual encounters aplenty. Can be any gender! The “reformed” rake to devoted partner pipeline is in all romance.}