annoying girls assemble!

I hope you know when I say this I am being tongue in cheek. I am pro annoying girl! I am an annoying girl. I love an annoying girl. You cannot offend me or turn me off with “damn! this bitch is annoying!” When I say annoying in this specific romance novel context I mean she’s mean. She’s maybe withdrawn. Anxious. Depressed. Medicated! Abrupt. Aggressive. Her arguments and reactions can be nonsensical. I am sorry for many of you that are incorrect but there MIGHT be a third act break up and it might be necessary! And due to panic or miscommunication or a million missteps we have all made with lovers, with friends, with family. At work! There might be lying and subterfuge even if she’s not a secret agent. Therapy may be required but not talked about yet. The therapist involved could be great or shit, who knows! We’ve all been there. This is all to bang on that same old drum and say I love a messy heroine (or hero but that’s another can of worms for another day). 

Much like when I see Goodreads reviews that call a book “too explicit” or full of “terrible language”  or “too many sexy scenes”...the mere mention of an unlikable heroine will lock me in fast. Oh, is she mean (in your opinion) for no reason? I am so there. Here’s a few I read recently that fit the bill and a few on deck.

It’s a Love Story - Annabel Monaghan: My friend Leonor just read this on vacation (like me!) and texted “omg she is so annoying and damaged. Go to therapy!” To which I laughed and said “YES I love her dumb ass!” What therapy could be better than your fake date’s FIVE HOT BROTHERS (no, this is not Credence) and visiting his ridiculous childhood home…on a farm…by a beach. There’s kissing in the rain, riding bikes, ice cream cones, and ill-advised swimwear. Even a little boat! Monaghan, perfect beach writer forever. She credits reading I’m Glad My Mom is Dead as inspiration for this book and boy, do I see it!

Promise Me Sunshine - WHEW! I expected this book to make me weep being that it is about a man helping a woman move through her grief over her best friend/soul mate while she helps him connect with his sister and niece. It didn’t but just barely. This book is so lovely and so difficult. Lenny’s grief is palpable and never fully resolves. Lenny begins this book unwashed, dirty clothes, living out of her backpack, and sleeping nightly on the Staten Island ferry. She is essentially feral. Miles is initially worried that she should not be responsible for his niece based on her absolute inability to care for herself. Since Miles has lost almost his entire family, he quickly understands the situation. Somehow this book is also desperately swoony. Friends to lovers, single POV, sort of manic pixie heroine…this had many things I do not typically enjoy but Bastone worked some type of magic. I lovvvvved this. 

Birding with Benefits - Influenced by my birder cousin, I finally read this book I’ve had on my shelf for awhile. Trope & Trifles Lauren sold me on by saying the MCs were in their 40’s and it’s relatable if you’ve ever had a text fight with your partner while in the same room. Jane is post divorce and only looking for casual! She absolutely refuses to consider a serious relationship with the sweetest man alive for most of this book and definitely drops the ball on dealing with her eighteen year old daughter. A mess. Happy to see her come through in the literal last 15 pages.

Winging It with You - ANNOYING GIRL IS GENDER NEUTRAL! Anxious man in STEM asks hot impulsive pilot on leave to be his Amazing Race style reality show partner AND NOT LET THEM FALL INTO BED TOGETHER? You know how this goes. I enjoyed it. Felt a little long and somewhat repetitive but overall a good sophomore effort for Chip Pons. Both of these boys are annoying as hell and incapable of being honest about their feelings. I hope they live happily ever after and their couples therapist buys a new car on their dime alone.

Never Been Shipped - The Goodreads reviews Alicia Thompson gets about unlikeable heroines…they make me angry. Why do I still look at them? Never met a Thompson novel I did not love. Micah (top tier messy bisexual) is so damaged and her therapist sucks. She is for sure depressed and for sure oblivious to her former best friend being the love of her life. Luckily, he is fine to seduce the hell out of her on a cruise ship while they process the trauma of being in a hit bands together as teens (very Paramore IMO). I am so pleased that my CW watching contemporaries are writing books like this. Pair with Fan Service for maximum enjoyment.

Streams and Schemes series - Rebecca Kinkade. Yep! It’s erotica time! What about camgirls in DC paired with high powered lawyer types that definitely all quit their stupid jobs for the women they love? Give up your congressional campaign and kneel is basically the plot of book 2. All of these women are degraded (sometimes consensually) by lesser mortals for being hot, being sex positive, and being demanding. Valeria gets an (incorrect) alert that DC is in imminent threat of a nuke and decides to finally hook up with her hot neighbor in her last 15 minutes on Earth. Obviously, once she sees it’s not the end of the world, she has to avoid him. He annoys her into a relationship. Cora acts like she is fine being the DC congressman’s (lol) dirty little secret. And lastly, Essie basically manipulates a man in love with her to stream with her…girls!!!! They just want to be hot and they just want to get paid. If we could all be so lucky! I will say be mindful of content warnings for these and message me if you have any questions. I am reading them now and THIS IS LIVING.

Well, Actually - Mazey Eddings. I had no interest in reading this when I learned it was a podcast hero. The title alone is giving contrary libertarian nightmare blunt rotation. Podcast heroes should go the way of billionaire heroes which means you can only find them at the thrift store or nowhere at all. Until….yes, I read a review that said the heroine is too mean. Too mean to a man with a podcast????? I immediately went out and bought the book. Stay tuned. I hope she also makes him kneel. 

Scotch on the Rocks - Elliot Fletcher. Not sure who is the annoying girl here. The black cat heroine or the guy pining for his brother’s ex fiance. Maybe both? What fun!

I can say that Ashley Herring Blake does a LOT of messy girls. The new Meryl Wilsner too. And I would be remiss not to bring up for the millionth time (though this was maybe only in my group chats) that Rachel Lynn Solomon is always a solid SSRI rep.

talk soon,

Britt